


Vipperloid Group Chat Hell

by Sukotei



Category: UTAU, Vocaloid
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2020-10-17 05:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20615969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sukotei/pseuds/Sukotei
Summary: Knife Knife: Which one of you fuckers set the kitchen on fireGender is a prison: Language!Knife Knife: SorryKnife Knife: Which one of you bitch ass motherfuckers set the goddamn motherfucking kitchen on fire





	1. Welcome to hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
No awooing: Miko  
🔫: Ritsu  
Knife Knife: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Fucked alien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

_Teto Kasane began a chat._

_Teto Kasane added 7 people to the group chat._

_Teto Kasane changed 8 names._

**Bready or not:** Hey guys! Guess who made a group chat!

**Knife Knife:** Uhhhhhh you?

**Knife Knife:** We can see the notification thingy up there

**No awooing:** whats this for :o

**Bready or not:** Mostly for planning out events and stuff but we’re probably gonna end up using it for memes

🔫**:** You mean like

🔫**:** CREEPER

**Alien fucker:** AWW MAN

**Alien fucker:** Wait hold on what kind of name is this

**Fucked alien:** we match... thats goals

**Gender is a prison:** Wait, are we allowed to swear here?

**Gender is a prison:** Miko is right there and she’s babey.

**No awooing:** miko is babey?

**Knife Knife:** Miko is babey!

**Bready or not:** Miko is babey!

🔫**:** Miko is babey!

**Deemohn?:** Miko is babey!

_Alien fucker changed No awooing’s name to Miko is babey!_

**Deemohn?:** But seriously should we be swearing with her around?

**Deemohn?:** What if she copies us?

**Fucked alien:** in my defense i havent actually sworn teto was the one who gave me this name

**Bready or not:** Uhhhhhhh hecc

**Bready or not:** Maybe I didn’t think these names through

**Gender is a prison:** You think?

**Miko is babey!:** miko wont copy you! promise!

**Bready or not:** Hmmmmm

**Bready or not:** Alright but if Miko starts copying us we gotta stop

**Knife Knife:** That’s fair

**Deemohn?:** I’ve got a feeling this will turn out to be a huge mistake.


	2. Rip Ritsu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
Miko is babey!: Miko  
🔫: Ritsu  
Knife Knife: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Fucked alien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

**Knife Knife:** Hey I just came down to make breakfast and

**Knife Knife:** Which one of you fuckers set the kitchen on fire

**Gender is a prison:** Language!

**Knife Knife:** Sorry

**Knife Knife:** Which one of you bitch ass motherfuckers set the goddamn motherfucking kitchen on fire

**Bready or not:** Wait the kitchen is on fire?!

**Bready or not:** AND YOU’RE TEXTING ABOUT IT?!

**Knife Knife:** I don’t exactly know if it’s a grease fire or just a fire fire!

**Bready or not:** DOES IT MATTER?!

**Knife Knife:** Actually yeah it matters a lot

**Knife Knife:** Whatever just gimme five minutes and whoever did it better fess up or else

**Gender is a prison:** Wait, Tei, what are you gonna do?

**Miko is babey!:** guys did anyone else hear an explosion

🔫**:** Shit

**Alien fucker:** Oh god Ritsu don’t tell me you did this

🔫**: **Well

🔫**:** The explosion technically wasn’t my fault

🔫**:** That’s on Tei

**Gender is a prison:** Ritsu set the fucking kitchen on fire.

**Fucked alien:** well it was nice knowing you

**Knife Knife:** YOU

🔫**:** BYE GUYS

_Knife Knife changed 🔫’s name to dead bitch._

**Miko is babey!:** wait what happened tei?

**Knife Knife:** BITCH SET THE KITCHEN ON FIRE AND IT EXPLODED IN MY FACE WHEN I WENT TO PUT IT OUT

**Knife Knife:** REMIND ME TO CUT OFF THE BURNT HAIR ONCE I’M DONE TAKING REVENGE

**Deemohn?:** Whoa.

**Deemohn?:** I’ve never seen Tei run this fast before.

**dead bitch:** Oh god I can hear her coming

**dead bitch:** I’m barricading the door

**Alien fucker:** Where the fuck did she get a chainsaw??

**dead bitch:** SHE HAS A WHAT

**dead bitch:** OH GOD I CAN HEAR IT

**dead bitch:** HE

**Alien fucker:** Oh mah fuckin god he fuckin ded

**Fucked alien:** f

**Bready or not:** F

**Gender is a prison:** F

**Deemohn?:** Nah, F is to pay respects. No one respects Ritsu.

**Alien fucker:** OUCH

**dead bitch:** Ritsu is gone. You’re next. Love, Tei.

**Miko is babey!:** D:


	3. Miko protection squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
Miko is babey!: Miko  
dead bitch: Ritsu  
Knife Knife: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Fucked alien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

**dead bitch:** Hhhhhh I regret everything

**Alien fucker:** I thought Tei killed you

**dead bitch:** Yeah but I’m okay now

**Knife Knife:** Not for long

**dead bitch:** 🅱ls don't unalive me

**Knife Knife:** Omae wa mou shindeiru

**dead bitch:** NANI?

**Miko is babey!:** tei no murdering!

**Knife Knife:** :(

**Knife Knife:** You're lucky everyone loves you

**Bready or not:** It’s true we do

**Miko is babey!:** :D

**Fucked alien:** all in favor of forming the miko protection squad say yeet

**Bready or not:** Yeet!

**Knife Knife:** Big yeet!

**Alien fucker:** Yeet!

**dead bitch:** Yeet!

**Miko is babey!:** uwu

**Deemohn?:** If anyone ever hurts Miko I will drag every soul in this realm to hell and then myself.

**Deemohn?:** So yeet.

**Fucked alien:** the miko protection squad is officially in service

**Fucked alien: **waitwheres ruko

**Bready or not:** Probably 15 minutes late with Starbucks

**dead bitch:** I doubt they’re even out of bed yet

**Alien fucker:** Even I’m only awake cause Scott kept climbing in my bed and yelling for attention

**Knife Knife:** That’s gay

**Fucked alien:** me me big gay

**Bready or not:** Gay alien

**Bready or not:** Gaylien

**Knife Knife:** GAYLIEN

_Knife Knife changed Fucked alien’s name to Gaylien._

**Gaylien:** ghftdgrbdgebrreb

**Gaylien:** nice

**Gender is a prison:** Hey guys, I woke up solely to share this video and go back to bed.

_Gender is a prison posted a [link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=K5tVbVu9Mkg)._

**Gender is a prison:** This is you, Tei.

**Knife Knife:** One sec

**Knife Knife:** YEAH DAT ME

_Gaylien changed Knife Knife’s name to cooking by the book._

**Miko is babey!:** miko is very confused

**cooking by the book:** Exactly why you need a protection squad


	4. Be Gay Do Crime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
Miko is babey!: Miko  
dead bitch: Ritsu  
cooking by the book: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Gaylien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

**Gaylien:** ive come to make an announcement

**Gaylien:** hatsune miku is a bitchass motherfucker

**Gaylien:** she smoked all my fucking weed

**Gaylien:** thats right she took her human fucking fleshy lungs out and smoked all my fucking weed and she said she was “THIS HIGH” and i said “what the fuck that was mine”

**Alien fucker:** Scott sweetie we’ve talked about this Miku can get away with smoking weed cause she’s rich but you aren’t so you shouldn’t admit to it where the police might find it one day

**Gaylien:** what do i care im not even a citizen

**Alien fucker:** SCOTT

**Bready or not:** Lol it’s not like they can deport him or anything I mean he’s literally an alien

**cooking by the book:** What if the Area 51 guys find out about him tho

**dead bitch:** Good riddance

**Gaylien:** rude

**Gaylien:** and you know theres no prison i cant squeeze my way out of

**Gaylien:** skeletons are for lesser beings than i

**Bready or not:** Yeah can I get a uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 🅱️oneless Scott?

**Alien fucker:** I still really worry about you y’know

**Alien fucker:** I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you

**dead bitch:** Ewwww public displays of affection

**Alien fucker:** Fuck you

_cooking by the book changed dead bitch’s name to Home of phobic 😔_

**Home of phobic 😔:** How dare you

**Home of phobic 😔:** I will sneak into your room and replace your shoes with soggy bread

**cooking by the book:** Ohohoho, bold of you to assume I have feet! I removed them years ago to get rid of the foot fetishists!

**Alien fucker:** Hey guys I’ve started a kickstarter to put down Ritsu

**Alien fucker:** The benefits of killing them is they’d stop interrupting my gay moments with Scott

**Gaylien:** dokidoki

**Home of phobic 😔:** I hate all of you so much


	5. Let’s do arson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
Miko is babey!: Miko  
Home of phobic 😔: Ritsu  
cooking by the book: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Gaylien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

**Gender is a prison:** Hello my close good friends, it has come to my attention that in nearly all laws, the clause states “he or she.”

**Gender is a prison:** Therefore, as we use they/them, Ritsu and I are above the law and cannot be arrested.

**Home of phobic 😔:** I’m gonna set fire to a government building

**Gender is a prison:** That’s the spirit!

**Bready or not:** Technically Ritsu is only above the law some of the time

**Bready or not:** I mean you do use he and she some days

**Home of phobic 😔:** Shut the up cissie

**cooking by the book:** I wanna do arson too :(

**Gender is a prison:** Too bad.

**Deemohn?:** Bold of you to assume the law can really stop any of us.

**Deemohn?:** There’s too much raw chaos to be contained.

**Gaylien:** i choose to believe human laws dont apply to me

**Deemohn?:** Same.

**Bready or not:** I choose to not understand these signs

**Miko is babey!:** that sign cant stop miko because miko cant read!

**Alien fucker:** If I am arrested I will simply seduce my way out

**Alien fucker:** Rip to you guys but I’m different

**cooking by the book:** I set fire to cop cars

**Alien fucker:** Tei that’s not a meme

**cooking by the book:** I didn’t say it was

**Gender is a prison:** I fear no man, but that thing...

**Gender is a prison:** *points at Tei*

**Gender is a prison:** It scares me.

**Home of phobic 😔:** Big same

**cooking by the book:** Yeah love you too


	6. Delete your sins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Current chat names  
Bready or not: Teto  
Miko is babey!: Miko  
Home of phobic 😔: Ritsu  
cooking by the book: Tei  
Gender is a prison: Ruko  
Alien fucker: Rook  
Gaylien: Scott  
Deemohn?: Oniko

**Deemohn?:** Why is Ritsu screaming in a hole?

**Bready or not:** That's their tantrum hole

**Deemohn?:** T

**Deemohn?:** Tantrum hole??

**Deemohn?:** They have an entire hole for throwing tantrums??

**Alien fucker:** Yeah I guess you're still kinda new here

**Alien fucker:** They blew a hole in the ground once and how that's where they go to scream when they don't get what they want

**cooking by the book:** This time it's because I said no fireworks in the house

**Deemohn?:** I mean this in the nicest possible way, but how have you not gotten yourselves killed at this point?

**Gaylien:** i for one am basically unkillable anyway

**Gaylien:** no clue about the others tho

**cooking by the book:** Fam do you really think the afterlife wants to deal with us

_Bready or not changed Bready or not's name to Too Chaotic to Die._

**Too Chaotic to Die:** Death knows better than to come for us

**Gaylien:** i want death to come for me

**Alien fucker:** Is that innuendo or are you depressed

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**Too Chaotic to Die:** Thank fucking god Miko isn't here cause I don't wanna explain what any of this means

**cooking by the book:** Should we delete this chunk of the chat just in case

**cooking by the book:** She's very much capable of scrolling up

**Too Chaotic to Die:** Oh shit u rite

**Too Chaotic to Die:** Brb I'm going on a mass delete spree

**Gaylien:** f in the chat for our deleted chaos

**Gaylien:** f

**cooking by the book:** F

**Alien fucker:** F

**Home of phobic 😔:** *touches the ground* Something awful happened here

**cooking by the book:** Oh hey you're back from your tantrum

**Home of phobic 😔:** >:(

_Home of phobic 😔 changed cooking by the book's name to Meanie won't give me fireworks._

_Meanie won't give me fireworks changed Meanie won't give me fireworks's name to Supreme Bitch._

**Supreme Bitch:** Suck a lemon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruko and Miko are absent because they were at a movie, thank god


End file.
